


Je suis vraiment désolé

by 2dpie



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24258595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2dpie/pseuds/2dpie
Summary: Murdoc is upset his band left him behind, which leads to some not very nice thoughts, who could possibly make him feel better when he feels this crappy.
Relationships: Murdoc Niccals/Stuart "2D" Pot
Comments: 1
Kudos: 32





	Je suis vraiment désolé

It was easy to pretend he didn't care, that it didn't faze him and that his band mates just forgot to tell him instead of leaving him out on purpose. Murdoc was known for keeping his emotions bottled up and he never really went out of his way to talk about his feelings unless he got really drunk and even then it was rare to show his vulnerability in front of other people. He had been looking forward to filming the second instalment of their new project "Song Machine" and had even put himself in a box, so he could relate to Noodle and get closer to his band. However that all ended up being for nothing, everyone left him behind to have a grand old time in Lake Como without him, what was even the point of getting 2D that captain's hat if they were all going to repay him like this. 

He went over to the black couch in the studio and right as he plopped down on it he could feel the tears he had been keeping in start to escape and stream down his cheeks. Murdoc knew there was a camera filming everything for the music video, but apparently no one told him that he was going to be left alone in the studio while everyone had fun outside and at this point in time he couldn't care less if the camera captured him crying on the couch like a blubbering idiot he could always put it off as him acting on his twitter in a couple days.His thoughts began to spiral out of control

You're a useless piece of shit, did you really think they'd forgive you so easily after all the pain you put them through. They hate you and all they want is for you to leave so they could forget all about you, you should've never come back from jail!

Murdoc could feel his body shuddering from the full blown tears that were now pouring down his face and he was desperately trying to calm down. "Remember what your therapist said Murdoc, breathe in and breathe out" He shakily began to inhale and exhale feeling himself calming down from the full body shudders and slowly pushed himself up from his position on the couch and wiping away his tears. He knew that his band mates would probably be done soon and he didn't want to be caught having just cried his eyes out. He started to walk back up the stairs and put himself back in the box. 

Being inside a cramped box you would think it would make him feel worse, but in a way it helped keep him grounded, Murdoc didn’t like feeling so powerless, he had worked so hard to create an identity for himself within Gorillaz and sure there were some fans that hated him for his actions, but he was meant to be the bad boy of the band and he didn’t mind acting the part, he knew he was a shitty person, so it wasn’t that hard to begin with. Murdoc loved the popularity he garnered from gorillaz, his sex life had gotten more active and it was easier to get out of trouble after he became a celebrity. However Murdoc was aware of the hate he was receiving as of late, ever since Plastic Beach many of his fans started to turn their backs on him and it was becoming tiring having to lie and pretend everything was okay when it wasn’t. He had ruined his reputation and the FreeMurdoc stunt had made things much worse rather than helping him out of a really bad lie. 

When he finally told the truth he had been expecting many of his fans to be upset with him but the backlash was much worse than he had anticipated and in the end he had to go back to being the horrible person that everyone knew him to be. What was the point of trying to redeem himself if it would just end up backfiring, none of his fans believed he could be a good guy so why should he even try. He still lied and manipulated himself out of every mistake he made, he had been doing it for years, it was just one of those awful traits he couldn’t escape from. It was hard convincing Noodle and Russel he could change for the better, 2D was a bit easier to have on his side, but Murdoc knew that he didn’t have control over his band like he used to and sooner or later 2D would end up leaving him behind too, just like he already was with this dumb stunt they had pulled on him for the Desole music video. Sure Murdoc did have some kind of lustful feelings towards the tall, pretty and blue spiky haired man, and many of their fans had been enamoured over the idea of the two being in a relationship together. 

Murdoc and 2D did have some type of relationship going on between them, but they had been doing a pretty good job of keeping it under wraps, if he did say so himself. Murdoc had been trying so hard to get on 2D’s good side ever since he got out of jail, but it didn’t seem like 2D really cared much. Murdoc had gone as far as to even show his fans how nice he could be towards his black eyed bandmate, by offering to comfort him when 2D was upset over a bloody orange. He had been giving 2D little trinkets here and there and it did make him feel nice when 2D would give him a huge grin like an excitable puppy. He did want this relationship thing to work out, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep up the good guy act when his fans were expecting him to go back to his old ways sooner or later. Murdoc had been staring up at the black void surrounding him from inside the box when he got roused from his thoughts by the sound of a door being opened and then shut. He decided to stay still in the box; he didn't feel ready to leave the comfort of the box yet. “ Hello Mudz you in here?” Murdoc heard the familiar cockney accent ask, but he stayed silent, he couldn't face anyone right now. 

2D was confused by the lack of a response, Noodle and Russel had told him that they were going to be staying in Lake Como for a little while longer and that he was welcome to join them, but 2D had politely declined their offer and headed back to Kong studios. The trio had been expecting Murdoc to join them at some point during the filming of Desole, but the man had never shown up and 2D had gotten worried over the lack of appearance. The 41 year old began to walk up the stairs, he knew that the beginning of the music video was going to show Murdoc getting out a box similarly to how Noodle was sent to them via a fedex box, it had confused the lot of them when Murdoc tried to explain the reason behind him having to be put in a box at the start of the video, but they didn’t question him, it was Murdoc after all.Perhaps Murdoc had gotten stuck in the box at the start of filming and none of them noticed, that thought caused 2D to panic and start screaming from the top of his lungs “ MURDOC, MURDOC WHERE ARE YOU, ARE YOU OKAY?” the lanky man was running up the stairs and panting from the lack of oxygen that all that yelling caused. 

Murdoc grew exasperated with his somewhat boyfriend’s screaming and threw the box open “ I’M IN HERE STU” and just as he said that, 2D immediately popped his head in through the room’s entrance “Oh thank god Mudz you scared the living hell out of me” Murdoc crossed his arms and turned his back away from 2D, “Yeah, yeah whatever” he softly spoke as though he’d break down just from looking at the other man in the room. 2D noticed this and slowly approached Murdoc “Hey um..Mudz you alright?” he asked as he reached for the green man’s shoulder. Murdoc shoved 2D’s hand off him “I’m fine faceache” 2D was upset hearing Murdoc call him that awful nickname, he thought that they had fixed their relationship and it had been awhile since Murdoc had called him any kind of mean names, but unfortunately that didn’t seem like it was the case. At the lack of noise from 2D , Murdoc looked over his shoulder to see what was wrong and quickly realized his mistake “Ugh… I’m sorry bluebird, i’m just not in a good mood right now” 2D’s shoulders slumped “ oh… I guess it's fine, why are you in a bad mood Mudz?” Murdoc glared at him from under his fringe “ WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY AM I IN A BAD MOOD, YOU ALL LEFT ME BEHIND TO HAVE FUN IN STUPID LAKE COMO!” Murdoc yelled. 2D was surprised by Murdoc’s reaction, “huh...i guess he is right we didn’t even bother to check and see if he was okay” 2D thought. 

“Oh Murdoc I’m so sorry we just assumed you would show up but then you never did and *sob* we didn’t even go to check on you!” Murdoc’s eyes widened in shock, he slowly came to the realization that 2D had nothing to do with him being left out, the poor dolt hadn’t even thought anything was wrong with Murdoc not being there with the rest of them. 2D suddenly reached out and enveloped a surprised Murdoc in a spine crushing hug blubbering out a string of sorries and forgive me’s.Murdoc hugged him back “heh, it’s alright bluebird you didn’t know” 2D looked up from where he had placed his head on Murdoc’s tear covered chest “I'm still sorry Murdoc we never should of left you behind like that, please forgive me!” Murdoc felt uncharacteristically emotional and went ahead kissing 2D’s forehead “ I forgive you 2D, now how about we go and watch some zombie flicks” 2D gave Murdoc one of those cute grins that he loved, “ Really Mudz?”Murdoc chuckled “yeah come on” he grabbed 2Ds hand and pulled himself out the box dragging the two downstairs to watch some movies. The two men spent the rest of the afternoon having a zombie movie marathon and cuddling, Murdoc definitely felt better when 2D was there to calm him down.


End file.
